Being classified as the school good girl never was a problem for me. I made some great friends that accepted me, though our personalities were completely different and even began dating a great guy who for the most part respected the certain "limits" I had in our relationship. I could see in his eyes that he wanted more than I could give him and I knew it was only a matter of time before he decided that what we had wasn’t enough. What I didn’t know, was that that time would come so soon.
"Katarina," Darren whispered with a frown. It was quite clear he was almost as upset about what was about to happen as I was. Maybe it was the way his voice cracked as he said my name, or maybe it was the way his deep brown eyes avoided mine.
"I know what you’re about to say," I whispered back. "Save yourself the trouble and just go home."
"I’m sorry." He hung his head and rand his fingers through his hair. "You know I love you and you know I’d do anything for you but I can’t keep waiting for you. Our relationship is going nowhere and I know you have limits but I don’t."
With a final hug he walked out my front door leaving me all alone in my living room. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I swallowed back the lump raising in my throat. It took minutes before I could even breath. How could something so expected, hurt me so much?
Before I had a chance to break down my mom walked in, as if she knew I was hurting. My mom always sensed when something was wrong. She said as a mother it’s instinctual, I just thought of it as a sixth sense.
"Honey, would you like to talk about it?" My mom leaned against the back of the sofa and rubbed my shoulder. It was impossible to respond right away. The lump in my throat kept returning.
I swallowed the tears back one more time. It was only temporary so before it had a chance to return I managed to whisper "We’re over."
"I’m sorry sweetie. That boy isn’t worth your time." She kissed my cheek and wrapped me up in a tight hug. "I just made some cookies for the church bake sale. If I’m not mistaken I made a few extra." A small smile appeared on her face and I couldn’t help but smile back. I loved my mom but even I knew better than to trust her cooking. For her sake, and the sake of anyone who came over for dinner, it was a good thing my father was a chef. Not a professional one, but at least we could eat his cooking and live to tell the tale.
With a small giggle I wiped my final tear away.
"Mom, I really am not in the mood to die."
She laughed along with me and pulled me off the couch and into the kitchen.
"These are good, I promise."
Hesitantly, I looked at the tray of cookies laying on the table. She was right. They weren’t burnt and they actually smelled edible.
I grabbed a cookie off the tray and held it up to my lips. Slowly, I opened my mouth and bit off a tiny piece. It was warm and sweet. The chocolate chips slowly melted on my tongue. My mom waited patiently for my critique.
"These are amazing! When did you become so great at cooking?"
She shrugged and walked back over to the counter. My eyes aimlessly scanned the room until something in the garbage caught my eye. Curious, I walked over to the trash can and my mom’s head snapped up.
"Um, I wouldn’t go over there!" She yelled. Instead of stopping I got closer and sighed.
"Seriously?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. Mom smiled innocently at the empty plastic bin in my hands. One that used to contain a dozen chocolate chip cookies. "Way to be." I chuckled.
"Yeah well, my first batch didn’t go so well. Anyway, Father Andrew probably prefers store-bought cookies than rancid poisonous ones. Right?"
She had a point there. I doubt killing everyone at the church would go over well in confession.
"Fine, you win. But these boxes are recyclable. You’re lucky I saw these. It’d be a shame if my own mother took part in killing the environment."
After throwing the boxes into the recyclable bin I went up to my room. I thought I was fine but once I shut the door and was surrounded by silence, I couldn’t help but think about Darren. Did he ever really love me? He broke up with me because I didn’t want to go all the way with him. Is that a reasonable excuse? Did he only stay with me in hopes that someday I’d crack?
The questions flowing through my mind wouldn’t stop. Question after question. Needless to say I didn’t have the answer to any of them.
I glanced over and noticed it was only nine o’clock. Maybe I just needed to talk to someone, and I immediately knew who.
After a minute of ringing she finally picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey Erica." My voice was still scratchy from crying.
&qu
"Are you okay?" She asked worried.
"Darren broke up with me." I mumbled. After a few seconds she still hadn’t said anything. "Are you still there?"
"Yeah, I can’t believe this! Do you want me to kill him for you? I will, I mean I can kick his…" Before she had a chance to finish her rant, I interrupted her.
"No. It’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you."
"Oh, okay. Well, why did he break up with you? Do you know?"
"I didn’t have sex with him."
I heard her gasp.
"Please, let me kill him."
"No. It’s not his fault. He’s a guy and I’m just really…" I tried to find the right word but couldn’t think of one.
"Ethical?" She suggested. I slightly nodded, which was stupid since she couldn’t see me.
"Yeah. I guess."
"Well forget that asshole. I’m going shopping with Andrea and Jessica tomorrow. You have to come."
"Yeah, that sounds fun."
"Cool. Well, I should probably get ready for bed. But if you want to talk some more I don’t mind staying awake a little l
"No, I’ll be okay."
"Are you sure?" She asked skeptically.
"Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah you will, and hey, it’s the last day of school. Our last day as sophomores!"
Her voice was filled with such optimism, I couldn’t help but smile along with her.
"Yeah, this summer will be great. I heard they’re opening up a new pool at the park."
Erica’s loud shriek stung my ear. I held the phone to my chest to smother the sound. As soon as she was finished I held the phone back to my ear.
"Sorry about that. I’m sugar high right now. But yeah, and now that you’re single maybe we can find you a nice piece of man candy. Just wear something sexy."
We both laughed and I shook my head.
"There are two things wrong with that suggestion. First, I just got dumped. I’m really not into dating anytime soon. Secondly, If it’s ’sexy’ it’s not going to be on me."
I emphasized each word but knew that she wasn’t convinced.
"Okay, we’ll see about that. Shan’t we?"
"Whoa, usin
g big words I see." I gasped in fake shock.
"Oh shut up. I really should go now. Don’t worry about Darren though. You deserve better."
"I guess so. Thank you."
"No problem, goodnight babydoll."
"Goodnight."
I smiled and shut the phone. As soon as I put it down I laid down on my bed and within a minute I was out.